Inventory

   In my early adult years I had the privilege of being in the retail business. For twelve years I worked

for a fine men's wear store in Texas. On the last Sunday in February we would take our annual

inventory. We would prepare for the inventory a couple of weeks in advance. 'Big Ed' insisted that every sock, tie, belt, pant, suit, shirt... be counted - by hand. Now mind you, this was during an age when computers were first being installed that could track inventories, but did you think a store with a crank handle cash register would modernize to that - no!  Welcome to the days of the Big Chief writing tablet and a #2 pencil!

   What was out on the shelves and racks was easy, it was the back stock rooms that really made the process of inventory a real challenge. We opened every box, looked through the stacks of double-knit polyester LaJolla pants, laughed our way through the leisure suits, and rummaged through the Touch of Class polyester embroidered shirts. It was a searching and fearless inventory...

   I thought about 'inventory' this week and the fourth step in a recovery program: 

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Why is it so difficult for us to open up and search through the taped up boxes full of yesteryear's hurts and hangups? Why is a moral inventory that reveals our true character so fear invoking?  What is it about exposing the strengths and weaknesses of our character that drives us further away from the very people who can help us most?

   As I've thought about this this week, I've come up with a couple of things:

1. Nostalgia: At times it's easier to take hurts out of the box, hang onto them, re-tape the box, set it back on the shelf of our hearts and minds. Somehow we think that over time they will increase in value.  All the while those hurts and hangups do increase in cost, but not in value. It costs us more and more to hang onto our stuff.
2. Fear: This can paralyze even the best of men or women. Fear keeps us from exposing and disposing of sins, hurts and habits; while at the same time helping us maintain our posing in front of our family and friends. Fear tells us that 'if they really knew me, they would reject me!'

Making the inventory does require searching through the stuff (rubbish) and a fearless attitude, that no matter what you find, you deal with it. However, instead of taping up the box and keeping it, you discard it. If you are having a hard time sitting down to take the inventory, start here:

"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life." (Psalm 139:23, 24 MSG)

The Holy Spirit knows us better than we know ourselves. Take a couple of hours with God, take out that Big Chief tablet and #2 pencil, draw a line down the middle of the page creating two columns (strengths / weaknesses), break it down into periods in your life, list the hurts, sins, habits... victories, successes, blessings... once you've done that - sit down and talk it through with someone. Ask for prayer, seek counsel if need be, reflect and trust (both in God and a trusted friend) to unpack the stuff so you dispose of it. 

What's in the stock room in back that needs to be disposed of? What is keeping you from opening up to The Lord and your friends? What sins have captivated your imagination?  It's that time of year - time for inventory!

In Christ